COLUMN: Ladies (and men), it's time to talk about eyebrows
LISTEN up ladies. And you men too. Let's talk about eyebrows.
Those things that sit on top of our eyes and used to be full and flourishing but have now diminished with age, can have a dramatic effect on our face.
Accordingly to a great many beauty magazines, too thin eyebrows can add 10 years onto our appearance.
(We've all known at least one lady in our lifetime who shaves her eyebrows right off and then pencils in a think black line, haven't we?)
These days you can't pick up a magazine without being admonished about the state of your eyebrows.
No longer is it enough to pluck and pencil as it was in our good old days, it is now necessary to attend a specialist eye brow salon.
I have had my eyebrows died professionally (and come away looking like Groucho Marx) but the thought of an eyebrow salon - a place dedicated solely to the eyebrow - gives me the jitters.
I am happy to go to salons that will give me facials and cut my hair and fiddle with my toenails, but something about paying someone to smarten up my eyebrows makes me feel...lazy. Surely we must take responsibility for our own eyebrows?
On my last overseas trip I stormed the beauty counter in the Duty Free shop (as opposed to storming the liquor section which is where I usually head straight to) and sought professional eyebrow advice.
I was told I must comb them, wax them, have a template made for them and once all that was done, to maintain them I should apply a special 'moulding' serum to set each little hair (of the few I have left up there) and only then could I fill in the tamed and compliant eyebrow with a special eyebrow powder, and then give them a final comb with a special (expensive) gadet.
And I must maintain and condition my eyebrows regularly with specialist eyebrow gel, but if run out of expensive gel, castor oil will do the trick.
I have done all this and resented it. It adds another 10 minutes onto my make-up routine every morning. And the thing is, I have a long fringe which all but covers my eyebrows. What a waste.
Of course the final solution to our eyebrow problems is to have them tattooed on, but really...do we want to go there?
I do envy you blokes who have only to ask your barber (hair stylist, sorry) to run the buzzing machine over your bushy eyebrows when you have your hair cut. The simplicity of it. No eyebrow template for you, eh?