Mum’s honest ‘sex after kids’ confession
A VICTORIAN mum has opened up in brutally honest post about sex after having children, revealing it happens in five minutes with "a tall boy up against the bedroom door and fully clothed".
Jessica Hood is a mother-of-four from Bacchus Marsh, in Melbourne, who blogs under the name House of Hoods and is committed to sharing the "raw-relatable" side of motherhood.
Ms Hood wrote how when she first met her husband they "couldn't get enough of each other", in a blog post on Facebook.
But once she fell pregnant things changed as "that sex and lust you once had started to vanish".
"You become that woman who starts believing your husband's penis will poke the baby in the eye," Ms Hood wrote.
After childbirth, Ms Hood said she and her husband had been exhausted new parents, meaning sex wasn't a priority.
"Eventually you do have sex again and it's probably just to try and procreate again and over time your family becomes complete, your children start getting older and there is a glimmer of hope … for passion! but not so fast!!" she wrote.
Ms Hood said that between work and housework her "sex life has a window that closes at 9.30pm because you're so exhausted".
"Sex with the lights on becomes non existent because carrying life has left you with two tennis balls in a pair of socks and a tummy that flaps in the wind!" she wrote.
While spontaneous sex is now rare, when it does happen it is with "a tall boy up against the bedroom door and fully clothed in case the kids decide to stampede their way in".
"Still it wasn't spontaneous, after all you strategically put sponge-bob square pants on Netflix and gave the kids a zooper-dooper in the hopes they wouldn't disrupt you," she wrote.
"Still it was the best 5 mins of your life. You reconnected. You had that time alone, you made time and even though it was rushed, it was something."
Ms Hood wrote that while many parents felt "pressure on keeping that spark alive", the spark never goes but "just ignites now at different times over different things".
"Love is deeper than just sex and sex will always be there, but your children, well they will eventually grow up and leave the nest leaving you back where it all started," she concluded.
'THIS IS HOW I WOKE UP'
Last month Ms Hood wrote about the reality of weekend mornings in her house that struck a chord with other parents who praised her for being so honest.
Sharing a photo of herself in her pyjamas with bed hair and no make-up, Ms Hood wrote that for any mums "not feeling themselves today. This is how I woke up this morning".
"My eyes are sticky, my hair is messy, my breath smells like death, I feel like I've only slept 10 mins and my stomach isn't flatter in fact it looks the same as before I went to bed," she explained. "So here is your realistic image of a mum waking up on a Sunday morning."
Adding to this, Ms Hood said she could hear her kids "fighting on the other side of the door demanding food and youtube".
"My husband is wanting morning sex and I just wanna stuff my face with crispy bacon while I scroll my news feed," Ms Hood wrote.
Despite the less-than-perfect picture it painted, Ms Hood said she was committed to sharing her "normal daily life", which wasn't often showcased by others on Instagram.