Secrets to dealing with a workplace narcissist

Sometimes it is hard to identify a narcissist but essentially they are never wrong, often gossip, and they are very full of flattery.

They are publicly charismatic and privately nasty. They try to take credit for everyone's work and they are always the victim no matter what. They are master manipulators.

If you are starting to question your decisions all the time, it might be that a narcissist is gas lighting you on things you have said or done.

They often only pick a handful of people they treat poorly and for everyone else they are charismatic and helpful and flatter.

Everyone else says "No, they are not like that, they are so lovely", but there will be one or two people they target and those people will feel alone, like no one understands them.

If your boss is the narcissist, it may just be best to leave. Picture: iStock
If your boss is the narcissist, it may just be best to leave. Picture: iStock

If you are thinking of someone at your workplace right now, look at that person's department and if there is high turnover you'll realise perhaps other people have been impacted too and they have just left.

Pretty much every person has one in the workplace and they can be at different levels.

If you think you are working with a narcissist, document all dealings with them.

Put everything in writing - every meeting and conversation - and copy in the right people.

Never meet with them alone, don't have one-on-one conversations with them in the kitchen or hallway, and don't engage outside of work.

Make sure if there is any conflict or you are uncomfortable, let your boss know so they can be in meetings with you.

It's for your own sanity.

Amanda Rose says there is a narcissist in almost every workplace. Picture: Monique Harmer
Amanda Rose says there is a narcissist in almost every workplace. Picture: Monique Harmer

If it's the boss or CEO who is the narcissist and it's impacting you, unfortunately, there is really nothing you can do except leave.

You can't change them and it's not worth it - life is too short.

Your confidence will be impacted so much if you are in that environment for too long.

It affects your mental health and physical health if you are trying to prove yourself all the time.

I advise everyone to always be looking for another job and always preparing for the next step so if you realise you need to leave your job - for whatever reason - you will be able to leave sooner rather than later.

 

Amanda Rose is a business consultant, workplace trainer, LinkedIn influencer and founder of six organisations - and now she is tackling your career questions for SMART Daily every Monday.

Got a question? Send it to smartdaily@news.com.au

 

Originally published as Secrets to dealing with a workplace narcissist